Donations for Cole and Rob

Hi everyone,

Rob and Cole could really use some financial assistance. They still have their mortgage and Rob isn’t moving around well (broken pelvis, cracked ribs, punctured lung and punctured spleen) as well as a broken heart.

I’m thinking if we all sent whatever we could – $5 or $50 to his attention that could make such a huge difference and reinforce our love and support of Emma, Cole and Rob.

Contact me via phone 905.342.2302 or via this site and I’ll forward Emma’s Dad’s mailing address since Rob is not at home still. If you can send a few dollars even every few weeks and let’s keep the support going as long as we can!

Thank you all – with love and appreciation, Colleen

December 20, 2008 – Colleen

Hello Cole
This is the first letter I am writing you about your beautiful Momma.  Auntie Em, as we loved to call her, was an earth angel.  I am convinced that her wings got so big she just had to fly to heaven four days ago. 

I first met your Mom at the Harvest Festival in Cobourg.  The funny thing is that we didn’t introduce ourselves to each other then.  I was buying an organic ear of corn for my daughter who shares your Mom’s name, and your Mom was helping someone else at the time, but gave me a smile I will never forget.  So much so, that when she emailed me the next day to introduce herself, as April from Cobourg Health Shoppe suggested she contact me about holistic play days and such, I knew exactly who she was.  We became incredible friends after that.

Within the week your Mom sent us an invitation to your first birthday party.  Jeff, Little Em, a family friend, Rhiannon and I packed up for a day at the park.  It was such an incredible event.  You were surrounded by all of your friends and family.  We were so thankful to be included.  Your Mom was so charming, and had everything so perfectly planned out from having an e-vite on the internet asking us all to list what we were bringing for the pot-luck lunch, to decorations, an incredible cake, and goodie bags full of great stuff for all the kids who came.  In fact, I still have the thank you card she gave us that included seeds in it to plant.>

We had to leave to get Rhiannon back home, and we stopped by the Independent grocery store near your home on the way to ours.  We were glad we got going when we did, and hoped you all did too as the heavens opened up and rain started pouring down.  When we were driving out of the parking lot I looked back towards the park for some reason and realized there was an incredible rainbow right over where you all were.  It seemed to start at your house and end at the park.  Your Mom and I talked about that later and how beautiful it was to see (she had seen it too).

There was always magic, love, and beauty around wherever your Mom was.  She and your Dad love you so much and it was so evident in everything they did.

<I have so many more letters I want to write – from stories about Monday yoga, to your first Goldfish cracker encounter and your Vegan Mom’s reaction – I’m sure others will want to share their stories too.
I dedicate this web site to you and your amazing father. 

Please know that we love you both so much and that your Mom was here to bring so much to this world, to my life -and I will forever be grateful for knowing her and you both.
We love you,

Colleen, Jeff and little Em

October 9, 2009 — Happy Birthday Cole!

Cole and Lil' Emma

I can’t believe you’re two!
I miss seeing you.
I miss your Mom.
I only met her and your wonderful family about a year ago… but your Mom had quite the effect on people, as you are learning.
My little Emma misses you too. We need a playdate soon.
Hugs, peace and love from all of us,
Colleen, Jeff and lil’ Em

Feb 21, 2009 – Lesley re: Your Mom’s Birthday

Dear Cole,

Tommorrow is your Mom’s Birthday…February 22nd is a special day for me in 3 ways.

My oldest Son Ryan was born on your mom’s birthday and when she found out he shared her birthday she promised me it was a very special day to have a birthday! SHE WAS DEFINATLY right!

The other reason tomorrow is a special day is that Lord Baden Powell was also born on this day. He was the man who over a hundred years ago invented Scouts. The Scouting movement was designed to be a youth organization for young men to participate in various activities including helping to take care of each other, have respect for all people and all things and to take care of the world that we live in. Baden Powell was an exceptional man and very much like your mom was out to conquer the world with love!

Mabey someday when you have started school your Daddy will sign you up for beavers ( the little guys) in scouts!

Much love to you tomorrow and much love to your Daddy!

Take care for now,
Lesley

February 20, 2009 – Thomas

Hello Cole,

I will likely never meet you, but I knew your mom briefly when we worked together at an art class for ODSP. I have been all over the world and met pretty much every shape and character there is and let me tell you that Emma was very unique and original. Her smile and energy was absolutely contagious. Her way with people moved me and consider yourself lucky to have her in you.

When it came to naming my second daughter in March 09 my wife and I were set on Emma and with your mom being the only Emma I knew, the name glowed with approval. Now I am prouder than ever to have given my daughter that name and I will remind her that she shares the name of a very special person who touched many lives with such positive radiance.
Thomas Chappel

January 6, 2009 – Lesley

Dear Cole,

My name is Lesley and although I did not have the chance to meet you I loved listening to your Momma proudly talk about you over the phone to me.
We had talked just a few weeks ago.

I met your mom at high school…your Uncle Mike introduced us as I was already friends with him. I was younger than him but older than your mom so we didn’t share classes but we spent time talking and singing and doing silly things together after school.

One thing your mom and I did have in common would not appear until much later.Our love for people with special needs. After I graduated from high school and finished my College program I had the oppourtunity to do my final work placement at our high school along side your mom! The next 6 weeks changed my life and I learned quite a lot from my younger and somewhat wiser friend!:)

I have many stories that I could share with you about your mom but as I have done nothing but think of you and her the last couple of weeks the same one keeps playing over in my mind. It is not a terrific story like many others…but truly simple and full of colour!(just like your mom.)

The following summer Your mom attended my Wedding Ceremony and a few weeks later my Husband and I ran into her at the local aquarium store. He and I were debating which fish to buy for our salt water tank and after much discussion I said”Let Emma Pick!”

The toss up was between a sharp yellow tang and a Nasso Tang which had many different lines of coulor all over almost tracing the outline of the fish and all of it’s unique features. Of course your mom chose the Nasso Tang and at that moment we named the new fish Emma!

Like many others I had a great deal of love and respect for your mom and although we hadn’t seen each other for the last few years we spoke every few months to share our moments of life and motherhood.Cole, she was overflowing with love for you. And very proud of every little milestone you met. She worked very hard to help others in every walk of life….and I think she has succeeded.

Much love for now,

Lesley Prestwich (malcolm)
xoxox

December 20, 2008 – Sarah

Dear Cole,

My name is Sarah Slean. Your Mom and Dad used to live right down the hall from me in a very tall building in downtown Toronto.

I met them through my friend Kate Jackson, who said that they were the nicest people she had ever met. That turned out to be true!

I remember watching Emma’s belly get bigger and bigger and her face just beaming with momma-to-be joy. She and your Dad were so excited to welcome you. They had lovingly prepared a “baby nook” for you in their apartment and were keeping close contact with a midwife.

Soon your little cries could be heard in the hallway!
I would run into your Mom when she was taking you out for a stroller ride. She was usually on her way to the Grass Roots store all the way up on Bloor Street so that she could refill her bottles of eco-friendly cleaning products. Or she was on her way to pre-natal yoga, smiling
at everyone and being friendly to the bus drivers. She put love and compassion first, always. Towards strangers, animals, her loved ones, the community and the planet.

Love and compassion were her guiding principles and for her, nothing was too much trouble to maintain them. For most of us, saying those things is easy, living them is not always so. But your mother did, absolutely. That is how truly amazing and exemplary she was.

Your dad came over to borrow my printer and I got to hold you for a while. You had been a little crabby that day but to my amazement you stopped crying when I held your brand new self – I was never so in awe in all my life! A new human being is a marvelous thing, and you,
Cole, were so very very beautiful! Do you know why? Because you can tell when someone is loved and treasured. This is the greatest gift we can give to each other, our love, and I could tell that your parents loved you to bits!

You could also tell that they loved each other so much. They were soul mates. Gentle, peaceful, unutterably kind soul mates. I had a million questions about the pregnancy and birth and they told me all about your mom’s courageous journey, all the while gazing at each other with such happiness. They were so happy to be alive, to have you, to have love. That is what so many forget or take for granted! That is why they are an example for us all.

Although we don’t know each other well Cole, I want you to know that love is light. And by that I mean – think of a candle. If you bring a teeny tiny little candle into a room full of darkness, it will spread light and allow you to see, right? Or if you open the curtain, even just
a smidge, the light will flood in and make all things visible. That means that the darkness can’t ever swallow the light. Light is so especially powerful that way, and so is love.

And I want to ask you to remember always that your mom loved you so much that words cannot express it. And so many people loved her, including me. That light can’t ever be extinguished. And the love that surrounds you is going to help you live life to the fullest and experience all the beauty and joy that this world has to offer.

So if you ever get sad, or miss your mom or wish you could see her again, think about light… She still loves you…. and that light won’t ever go out. Ever.

With love and hope and hugs,

Sarah Slean

December 20, 2008 – Jason

Hi Cole!

I’ve known your Mom a long time – since we were both in high school. I knew I wanted to befriend her the instant we met. Her big, beautiful brown eyes broadcast her optimism and goodness of heart for everyone to see.

In the smoke-filled coffee shop where we first made our acquaintance, we spent far too much time. We dressed eccentrically, the way most adolescents do. First, we clothed ourselves in dark velvet garments and ornate black makeup – for both girls and boys – and later in glitter paint, bright colours and enormous denim pants. We laughed with our friends, and forged a strong bond as a group of high school outcasts.

We stayed out far too late and went to clubs where people dressed like vampires. We had tremendous house parties. We talked until the wee hours of the morning.

Emma was an important part of that time in my life. She was accepting in a time when few others were, respecting those who had the courage to be different. And we all respected her courage to love those who were ostracised by others.

I’m sad that she’s gone, but extremely grateful to have had the privilige of knowing her.

Your friend,
Jason Northway-Frank

December 24, 2008 – Colleen

Dear Cole,

Today is Christmas Eve. Did you see the snow outside? I hope it hasn’t started raining yet by the time you wake up because we got A LOT of snow overnight. It may not be a white Christmas by the time the rain comes they are predicting for today.

Yesterday was your Momma’s funeral. The parking lot was so full that people parked in nearby hotel lots, the daycare lot next door, and anywhere they could find. I realize that it was intended to be a celebration, but I have never seen so many people crying from the minute they walked up to the building to probably the minute they fell asleep last night. I have to tell you though; the cries went from tears of intense sorrow to tears of joy for many of us as we celebrated your Momma’s life.

Jeff, little Emma and I stayed out in the hallway and kids room for most of the event, as there was standing room only in the large room where the celebration was held. We couldn’t even see in, because the standing room only extended all the way down two hallways, into the front reception room, and to our preferred location, the men’s and women’s washrooms. I know that sounds funny, but they had speakers in there for some reason and we could hear everything so clearly. A bunch of us wound up propping open the doors so large groups of us stood in the washrooms listening, crying, laughing, and even singing at times all in tribute to your Mom.

I wish I could tell you about how the celebration started. I heard some beautiful music and then some bells that sent vibrations through the building. They sent shivers up my spine they were so stunning.

What was interesting about not being in the room the whole time was we were able to connect with many people and share stories with many of your friend’s and family members, as they would bring their little ones into the kids room to play. We also got to ‘overhear’ some of the challenges the staff at the funeral home were facing. I don’t know all the details, but it seems that the water stopped working just before we all arrived, and Jessica, the funeral director was so moved by the energy and love everyone had for your Momma asked your Mom to please help out to make the event a success. All of the sudden the water came back on. We heard people say your Mom in an angel and that she helped make a miracle! Your Grandma Hardie is convinced that Emma was conserving water!!!!

Your Mom made a bunch of miracles yesterday. She helped your Dad find the strength to spread so much love. We actually arrived just as the ambulance pulled up with your Daddy. Your poor Daddy could barely walk, move, or even talk, but he was able to make the rest of fall to our knees as he shared stories about your Mom and him. He even has us laughing tears of joy at one point. The one thing your Dad shared that was truly a nugget of gold was that no matter what relationship you have with anyone else, never hold resentment or anger. Never go to bed mad. Let the ones you love know you love them and how you feel about them before it’s too late…

I know your Uncles and grandparents spoke too, and unfortunately I didn’t get to hear much of that, as we hadn’t discovered the speakers in the washrooms yet

I did also hear someone sing the chant your Mom used to do before our Parent & Tot yoga sessions. Oh Cole, I wish I had your Mom’s voice recorded as she used to sing that. I don’t know if anyone does, but it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever heard. Your Mom had a stunning voice that truly was heaven sent.

Your Uncle Michael played the guitar and sang “What a Wonderful World”. It was soooo quiet as he started but about half-way through I could hear other people in the room and in the hallway singing along with him. I ran and got everyone out of the kids playroom so they could hear it too… As if I wasn’t crying enough, that really took me over the edge.

I debated whether or not I would go speak, as your grandfather asked if I would. I only knew your Mom since September and I had no idea what I could possibly say to all of these people who had known her for years or even decades. When I heard my name I decided I was there for a reason and went to the front of the room. I didn’t see you but my eyes were filled with tears. I was blown away by how many people were actually in the room. It wasn’t just standing room only. There was not a free inch anywhere it seemed. And everyone was looking at me with such sadness and seemingly so lost. I heard your Momma’s voice just before I started talking and I knew that I had to tell them about your web site, and that your Mom didn’t want us to get stuck in the tragedy but in the miracles that were resulting from all of us being together in celebration of her life. As I said my quick few words I saw people smiling and nodding as they realized we were all here to support you and be here for you as your grow up. We are all here to share the love and compassion your Mom had for you.

Cole, you will forever be loved by your Mom. We all know and feel her presence. You will be able to also and I’m sure you already do. But you will also have all of our love and support as your go through your own tears of sorrow and joy in life. My dear Cole, you probably have the biggest ‘family’ of support and love of anyone I’ve ever met. Please know we will all be here for you always!

I hope that others add their own stories and insights into the celebration that took place yesterday; as I am sure there are so many other special moments that can be shared. Merry Christmas Cole… in Peace and Love, Colleen

January 5, 2009 – Karen (Comment)

I met Emma at Baby Time at the Port Hope library… I didn’t really know her, but her smile would light up the room. I recall thinking ‘wow, how nice for both the mom and dad be able to participate together what a lucky little boy he is’… I also recall thinking there are a man and a woman who are deeply in love and that boy is VERY lucky that is parents are so in love and so in love with him. You could see that Cole was the light of her life… it saddens me to think that little boy will have to grow up without really knowing the amazing woman I’m sure she was.

While I am a Cobourg transplant meeting new people has been tough… she always had a kind word to say and was always very approachable as my kids especially my daugther would talk to her at length. I wish I had more of an opportunity to know her…Driving that part of the highway, I can’t help but think of her and the tragedy that unfolded that morning…

I can’t even imagine what Rob is going through…my thoughts and prayers are with him and Cole as they try to find a path to move on and live as Emma would want them to.

January 2, 2009 – Davis (Comment)

I’ve been saying a prayer for Emma every night since I heard the terrible news…may she rest in peace. From spending so much time with Emma at Ryerson University and seeing her walking the East Toronto hood, I have fond memories of Emma – her laugh and beautiful smile were contagious. Such grace and a true revolutionary…spirit, strength and a resolute belief in social justice…may her good work motivate all others to make this world a better place from wence she left. Here’s hoping the Ryerson/RADS dedicates a scholarship in honour of Emma Hardies so that future disability studies students will continue her great work in the field…a fitting tribute to her amazing activism within the faculty and disability community. I will miss her and feel blessed to have known her…my thoughts and condolences go out to her partner Rob and their son Cole and to the rest of the extended family. In sympathy~davis